Some friends and I were talking about a common problem that’s rarely discussed – ministry envy!
We were honest that we struggle with this more than we would like to admit.
Have you ever compared your “ministry results” to someone else’s?
Maybe their message seems to be seen, heard or understood more than yours and you long for the same results?
So, what can you when you feel envious?
Recognize the Deeper Meaning of Envy
Rather than being hard on yourself when you feel envious of someone else, explore what you could be longing for.
God gave us longings for a reason, that’s a good thing.
Don’t ignore your longings!
[bctt tweet=”I now see my longings as God wooing me to something that He has for me.” username=”maryloucaskey”]
My friend Cheri Gregory shares that “Envy is a longing for belonging”.
Her message resonates with me!
When I feel envy, I need to recognize that I might be longing to belong (or longing for something else) and that’s a good thing!
Be Authentic with the Right People
Find people who are a real about their struggles. People who listen well without condemning or judging you.
Be real with people who know what it’s like to pour your heart into your ministry or message and you long to be seen, heard or understood.
You will find that “ministry envy” doesn’t end when you “arrive” and are in the “ministry of your dreams”, doing what you love, and making a difference.
Michele Cushatt shares that she received an email from a well-meaning woman was jealous of how Michele’s cancer give her some traction in her success!
I really appreciated that Michele shared her own struggle…
In all fairness, she was simply being authentic about a real human struggle, the deep longing to be seen and feel significant.
I get it. Just this week I discovered an online friend I admire had unfollowed. My gut-level response? Rejection. I wanted to track her down, find out why {Yes, I struggle, too}…
Thank you Michele!
Serve Your Audience Well
Focus on the people that you are serving right now.
Give thanks to God for the opportunity to make a significant difference in the lives of the people you are serving.
We are taught that in today’s noisy world, it’s important to “expand your reach”, “build your tribe”, “grow your platform.”
That’s true, these things are important.
Yet, focusing on and chasing growth can be a trap.
You can easily get to a place that it’s “never enough” and you miss out on focusing on the people that you are called to serve right now.
This noisy world and our desire to make a difference does cause tension.
It can be a challenge to know how to handle the challenges.
Would you join me today, as I remind myself to not feel bad about myself when I feel envious?
Instead, I need talk about it and pour my heart into serving.
The people you are called to serve are worth the challenges!
Question: What are your “least favorite” ways that you compare your ministry to someone else’s? You can answer in the comments below.
We my husband and I first started Celebrate Recovery at our church we suffered from a form of “ministry envy.” We were more concerned about the numbers and got caught up in that wrong thinking for a while. The Lord was gentle with us as we saw the truth that even one person is enough for one even one evening!
Good post Mary Lou!
Debbie, thank you for sharing such a common issue that is not talking about! Bless you and thanks for your Celebrate Recovery ministry!
Thank you for addressing this subject in such a beautiful way. In doing so, I believe you are helping to destroy the enemy’s power over us by trying to make us feel we are the only one who feels this way. This is not the first time I have heard the message of “focus on serving well, not on growth” this month. I think God is trying to tell me something. 😉 That’s why I’ve decided to take one day a week to fast and pray, and focus on praying for my clients and blog readers and for drawing near to God to get HIS plan and instructions.
JoDitt, that is so true and what a wonderful plan of action! Thanks for commenting!
Thank you for sharing this Marylou. I agree that this is a slippery slope that many of us struggle, including me. I attended Speak Up last year and one of the messages was that we are not in competition with each other but God has gifted each of us with different messages, different strengths, different gifts and we are stronger together. Satan uses this envy to weaken our messages and divide us. Let’s unite and support each other in ministry knowing that God has a purpose for each of us. We can learn and grow from each other when we are open to this. So when that green eyed monster strikes, I try to pray instead for my sister in ministry and thank God for the ways He is going to use her to touch hearts and bring them closer to Christ.
Mary Lou, your post resonated more than I’d hoped (how’s that for authentic?) 🙂 Before leaving for a recent writer’s conference, I printed out Michelle’s article and read it aloud in my room the first night. I’m not a competitive person but anyone with flesh on their bones needs the reminder that we’re all on the same team every once in awhile, right? Beautiful site you have here. 🙂
Yes Cathy, you are being authentic! Thank you so much. What a beautiful way you have at explaining things, yes, I feel the same way. Thanks for your compliments on my site!
Mary Lou,
You are always so brave to put these unspoken topics out there (at least I have never heard someone actually voice these feelings!) I think talking about it is the perfect way to release those feelings and get back to focusing on the Gift Giver and being grateful for the gifts He has given us in particular and happy with the fruit our gifts produce.
Rosemary, you encourage me greatly. Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you for sharing a topic many people are hesitant to discuss. Satan will use whatever he can to distract us from making a kingdom-impact, and if envy will do it, then he will use it. Great insight!
Thanks Jeannie.
Mary Lou, this is a wonderful post. It’s easy for me to become focused on the growth trap and compare myself with others in that way, feeling not only envious but ashamed. These, I know, are unhelpful reactions.
Jane, you put into words so well what so many people feel. Thank you.
Thank you, Mary Lou.